How We Have Become Completely Spoiled [Omniher]

I've tried posting about the couple we met the weekend I ended up in hospital several times now, and just can't seem to finish.  Perhaps because they were just ... so ...   Well maybe this exchange will explain better than I could:


[me] Can't believe how sex-crazed I am at the moment, being in hospital for a week has made me wild!
[him] I know.  Well I guess it's understandable as you haven't come since last Friday...
[me] Did I?  Did we fuck on Friday?  I can't even remember the last time...
[him] doesn't know whether to laugh or not What were we doing last Friday?
[me] Um..?  Oh yeah!  Right!
[him] Well, they obviously made a big impression on you...

And with that, this post took a completely different direction to what I had intended.  I had been meaning to give a blow-by-blow account of the tryst and preceding flirtations, but this has ended up being a reflection on how we have become spoiled.


It wasn't that there was anything particularly bad about them, the whole experience was just so... meh!  

It all started when we actually came across a couple on AMM who were both bi, reasonably well-spoken, fairly good looking and wanted to fuck us.  Jackpot!  Only catch is, they live - well - lets just say that it would be my second ever V-line trip since moving to Melbourne about 5-6 years ago.  First spoiled brat alert - we're stuck-up inner-north snobs.  We rarely go south of the river for anything (friends, sex, whatever) let alone jumping on a V-line and heading out of Melbourne itself, gah!  Quelle horreur!  But, we think to ourselves, people such as this are rare, we're sick of hosting at our place, so why not?  They're happy to do a daytime date on a day that suits us, really why the fuck not?  I should also point out that neither of us drive, so yes going such a long way truly is a big deal.


So we arrange the date and usually at that point we'd just ignore them until we showed up on their doorstep (or in cases closer to home, the bar or restaurant or what have you), ready to get nekkid.  Second way in which we're spoiled: most of our playmates are happy with this arrangement.  The thing is, we're here to fuck you, not be your friends.  And the more you talk, probably the less likely we are to want to fuck you (in most cases at least - I guess that's a third, anyone who ends up as a regular playmate is actually smart, intelligent, not bogan, well-read...  We tend to forget that there's a whole other world out there full of stupid people, and when we remember we try to talk as little as possible so we don't get completely turned off by them).  Sometimes we fuck people and then find out that we really like them - that's an awesome bonus, not the goal.


However as luck would have it, these guys are into the whole flirty message thing, the phone calls before bed (although they'd never call us, only beg us to call them in their messages), the texts...  Again, we decided to go along with it.  But it got weird...  They were acting like lovesick puppies.


Don't get me wrong, the occasional 'wow - you're hot' is always a big confidence boost, but when someone I've never met writes screeds and screeds about how awesome I am, how sexy I am, how wonderful I am it just creeps me out.  Add to that the fact that they messaged Mr O asking what my favourite flowers were so they could buy me some, the lady half grilled Mr O on what she should wear to get me hot (i.e. whether I would prefer skinny jeans or a sun dress - well duh, a dress is much easier to take off), they wanted to know if I was allergic to milk as she wanted to lick whipped cream off me...  It was all just getting a little full-on.


But ok, they have young kids so don't get to do this often.  Their last few dates have fallen through.  Maybe they're just over-excited?


And then the day came and it was just so...  White bread.  Standard.  Uneventful.  They were so excited and we really wanted to have a good time but there were no fireworks.  Mr O and I took turns sucking his cock and licking her cunt and vice versa, and all the usual sexy things but it was just really average.  They were so timid in touching, kissing, licking I had to refrain from yelling c'mon guys!  You won't break me!  We took the V-line for this?  I couldn't wait to get home so Mr O could get me off properly.

We are so spoiled and lucky, we fuck the most awesome people.  There's always so much going on, tangles of limbs, sweat mixed with come, sex hair, sex smells, heaving orgasms...  It's a messy, dirty business and it's amazing.  So I guess it really took this sanitized version to make me realise just how lucky we are.  And in that respect, I couldn't have asked for a better date.

- Omniher xx