Miss Lovely and Omnihim: what happens when it goes wrong [Omniher]

Probably the most intimate and personal thing I have ever written and here it is, my second ever blog post and out there for the world to see.  I write not to blame and/or shame, but as a catharsis and an exploratory journey through thought processes.  I wanted to explain what happened to myself as much as anyone else, and as a result of my over analysing mind this has gotten really long...  But there's a happy ending, promise!  Please be warned that the following contains a liberal amount of swearing and sexually explicit content.  Although I guess for most of you that's just an incentive to read on!  - Omniher xx

Around 1 am last Saturday night, I finally drifted into a state of semi-sleep.  My body was on fire; I could feel the welts from the carpet beater rising on my back (I often describe the pain as being like a ring of angry bull-ants on steroids all biting at the same time, over and over), the short, criss-crossed lines of a wooden spoon handle across the fronts of my legs, the sprinkling of dots all up my left side and torso from where the horsehair and suede floggers had whipped around after dancing across my back, and the thick and brutal marks of a studded leather belt over my buttocks, all co-mingling to ensure no sleeping position was without incredible discomfort.

Suddenly, I awoke to the sound of urgent fucking.

And I was furious.
I lay there, not moving, questioning why I was so angry.  Was anything really wrong?  Miss Lovely certainly seemed to be enjoying Omnihim's attempts to fill her cunt with his fist so no problems there.  It's not as though I haven't experienced the same with him countless times, its fun - right?


Maybe I was jealous?  I tried saying a few phrases over and over in my head: He shouldn't be with her, he should be with me! He wants her more than he wants me.  Meh, nothing.  I actually kinda like watching them together and I know how madly in love with me he is so obviously that wasn't it.

Maybe I was annoyed at being woken up: How inconsiderate!  I only just got to sleep - now how am I going to find a comfortable spot! Yeah, no.  That's not it either.

I kept running through different ideas and scenarios but nothing.  All the while I lay there, not moving a muscle, seething inwardly and pretending to still be asleep (how I could have remained asleep through the commotion I have no idea) and she came (again and again, squirted too I believe) and he came and they collapsed again.  Exhausted.  And I was still furious.

Omnihim gets up to have a cigarette.  "Wow!  Can you believe Omniher is still lying there?! She must be really tired!"

Yeah fuck you asshole, I'm ANGRY dammit!  Now, what am I angry about again?

In the following minutes, I ran my mind over the events of the evening, looking for clues.

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We'd had a BIG day.  Started off by getting up early to quickly shove the dirty laundry in the spare room and pull the door shut, whiz the vacuum over the most obvious clumps of dog hair, you know, the bare minimum you can get away with without looking like a giant slob...  Then, off to the East Melbourne Day Procedures Clinic to fight off the anti-abortion god-botherers for an hour or so, a few errands, the Equal Love rally (go Sally Goldner for actually making a point of the fact that it's not just about lesbian and gay male couples who want to get married, and for the shout out to bi, poly and other peeps.  Nice change of pace from the usual Union and Socialist Alliance speakers, I mean seriously WTF?!  What are they really going to be able to do in practical terms?  Do they ever say anything interesting even?  Anyhoo, I digress) then rushing home to change before our date.

Around 4.30, we met Miss Lovely at our local for a beer and a snack or two, before back to our place for more alcoholic goodness.  All good at this point.  We're laughing, talking, joking about our craptacular weeks at our respective work/study places, drinking, eating, and generally having a merry time.  Omnihim is making us nervous by continued absences into the bedroom, preparing who knows what and ensuring with hints and some not-so-subtle innuendo that we are worked up and more than a little moist where it counts.

Before long, Miss Lovely and I are ordered into the bedroom where we are summarily stripped and secured to the double wardrobe doors by way of some well-placed door restraints, and carefully blindfolded with layer upon layer of bondage tape.  Me-being-me couldn't resist the urge to backchat and giggle, leading Miss Lovely down the certain path to a much harsher beating.  She quickly learned that this was not in fact acceptable behaviour, but hey, I haven't learned my lesson in the past three years - why would I start now?!

My wiggling and general nuisance-making soon made one of my restraints break free, and after several attempts at putting me back with the same result, Omnihim decided it was time for phase two.  The two of us on the bed, on our sides, facing each other, hands tied above our heads to the headboard (just high enough to stretch a little), feet entwined with yet more bondage tape.  And then his crowning glory: each of us wearing a set of nipple clamps that he had linked in the middle, one person flinches, both feel the effects.

Well, I hardly need to describe what transpired next - you saw my list of injuries above.  I have to say, in a truly inspired moment of evil genius he devised a game.

"Miss Lovely.  Omniher is going to get ten with the flogger or four with the cane.  Which will it be?"

Please say flogger, please say flogger, please say flogger!

"Ummmm... The... Flogger?"

Thank fuck!  Thank you, thank you, tha...  "Ow fuck!  Shit!  Ow ow ow ow!!!"

And so on.  Until...

"Omniher.  I'm going to stop now.  Either you're going to get fist-fucked, or she's going to get fucked in the ass.  Which will it be?"

Oh shit, which will she prefer?  Does she like being fucked in the ass?  Would I be selfish if I said me, or would I be taking one for the team? Quick, quick, think of an answer!  If I take too long I'll probably wear a few more lashes, maybe even with that fucking carpet beater...  Fuck!  Which would she want?!?!  Oh!  An idea! A little cheeky, maybe I can get away with it...

"Whichever you would prefer."

Fuck fuck fuck fuck - he's not saying anything, have I gotten away with it?  Am I about to have to go through that whole scene again?!  Don't know if I could take anymore...  Why isn't he saying anything?  I can't see the expression on his face, is he reaching for another torturous device...?

"Good answer!"

Oh thank fuck!!

Turns out, she got both.  And got off wildly on it. (Ping!!  Lightbulb - first clue as to why I'm so fucking angry!)

Following was the usual cigarettes for Omnihim and occasionally Miss Lovely, rounds of caressing, touching, Miss Lovely and I giggling together while Omnihim smoked, Omnihim going down on me for a bit, me sucking his cock and swallowing a lovely load, the two of us working in tandem to bring Miss Lovely to orgasm over and over...  And everyone collapsing in a sweaty, messy, tired heap.  Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

Each time we collapsed (while I didn't realise it at the time) a slight bit of resentment was building up.  But I told myself don't worry!  It will be your turn next!  In actual fact, it never was.

And suddenly I knew why I was angry.  I had not yet come even once in hours and hours of fucking, despite Miss Lovely's countless orgasms and multiple squirts (something she's only ever done a couple of times before apparently) and Omnihim's several climaxes!  And worst of all, neither of them seemed to have noticed or to care at all!!


Now, I need to clarify three things.

1. I'm not one of those girls that's hard to get off.  It's not like some incredible mission that only a few accomplish.  Basically, you get me worked up then bang!  Off like a rocket.

2. I know that in group situations there's give and take.  Sometimes one person gets more, sometimes another.  I get that.  But never, in any of the intimate encounters we've had together, has anyone been left with nothing (save one time where we did encounter one of those impossible females, and that wasn't for want of trying).  There have been times where Omnihim has been a little left out, especially when playing with other girls, but it is something that we have talked about and I think can safely say has never happened since that discussion and certainly when it has happened in the past, it was never to the extent of being left completely unsatisfied.

3.  (the most important point)  I need to explain us and BDSM.  It is not something that is a constant or compulsory for us.  We are not part of 'the scene' and don't go to BDSM events.  We can quite happily have sex without any hurty play, and it is not something I would let just anyone do to me (actually thus far, Omnihim is the only person who has ever made me hurty in a good way).  I am not some kind of pain slut who just loves the pain (have TOTAL respect for those who are, wow!).  For me, the attraction is in the closeness of the encounter and most importantly, about the release that follows.  It is the most exquisite combination to feel the searing pain while in the midst of an orgasm, and it almost never fails to send that particular climax into a whole other realm; its incredible.  In practical terms, orgasming afterward also dulls the pain, it releases the most amazing kind of what I call brain fog - it kind of just clears the slate...  And the more the better.  I have never before experienced what it is like to go through a super intense beating and not be rewarded with multiple orgasms immediately following.  Well, I can tell you I don't like it one bit!

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So after being woken up by the fist-fucking incident, Omnihim returned from his cigarette and lay down next to me.  He began to try to cuddle me and kiss me but I was having none of it.  I didn't want to make a scene with Miss Lovely right there in bed with us, and I didn't trust myself to discuss it rationally either.  Finally, when it looked like Miss Lovely was asleep (or at least pretending to be), Omnihim ordered me into the lounge for an exchange in very heated whispers.

"What the fuck is up with you?"

"You two have been ignoring me all night."

"No we haven't."

"Oh yeah?  Well when have I come tonight?"

"I went down on you!"

"And?  That's it?  For a whole fucking night?  And after you've spent the first part of the night being hitty?!"

"You're just used to being the centre of attention, someone pays me attention and you throw a hissy fit."

"I am NOT throwing a hissy fit!  I have not come once tonight after everything you guys have done together, and its totally unfair!  I am in soooo much pain right now, and I have had nothing 'nice' to make up for it!"

"But I went down on you, didn't you come then?"

"No."

"Well...  Well...  You know there have been so many times that I've been left out..."

"But you've never been left out to this extent!  And I am in pain!  What, so now you just beat me then forget about any of the nice stuff afterward?  Any how is it fucking fair that she hasn't missed out on any of the nice stuff?"

"Do you want some panadeine?"

"No!  I need some fucking sleep, I'm going back to bed."  What?!  No fucking apology?  No acknowledgment that anything is/was wrong?

He went to sleep on the couch, ostensibly to give us more room in the bed.  A hour or so later I did get up to take some panadeine (something I rarely do anyway and have never before done after hurty play) but it didn't do any good.  Omnihim gave me a hug and came back to bed - I finally fell asleep in his arms.
 
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Morning comes, and Omnihim is on his best behaviour.  He gets up early to walk the dog, and begins to make breakfast.  Miss Lovely awakes and we start chatting.  She asks me if I'm ok.  At this point I'm still pretty pissed off, but I figure I'll be honest with her and we can maybe solve the problem or at least make sure it doesn't happen again.  I thought carefully about my wording before responding:

"Yeah, I'm ok.  Just really sore.  I find it really hard to deal with the pain if I don't get that yummy orgasm fog afterwards to you know, like, to numb it a little.  I'll be ok, its just worse when you don't get that, you know?"

"Oh yeah!  I totally know what you're talking about about!  Because like when Omnihim was doing X to me...  and then when he was doing Y...  And then Z!"

What.  The.  Fuck?!?!  Oh no she did-n't!  Did she just seriously say "I know what you mean" and then go on to detail all of her awesome orgasms after I just told her I was feeling supremely un-sated and was a bit upset by that?!?!

I rolled over and tried not to blow my top.  Tried to rationalise.  Maybe she misunderstood what I had said?  I mean, I didn't expressly come out and say "I'm pissed off because you two paid so little attention to me last night that I have not yet orgasmed."  Maybe I should have said that?  But its not as though it was totally her fault, Omnihim is supposed to be in charge under those circumstances.

I relaxed a little, and wanting to salvage the morning, rolled over to snuggle up with her.  It felt so good after the shitty night and I was starting to feel my anger melting away.  And then she started to talk again, asking me about a night about a week ago that Omnihim had alluded to, when he had again tied me down and done all kinds of nasty (nice!), hurty things to me.

"So last Friday it was worse then?  He went harder on you?"

Here's my chance again!  "Oh yeah, well I wouldn't necessarily say harder, just different.  And he only used the suede flogger which I much prefer to some of the other stuff he was using tonight...  Oh and of course, he also made me come over and over unlike tonight so its always much easier to deal with the pain that way!  I think I'm just feeling extra sore today cos I haven't had that release yet."  There!  Plain as fucking day!  Can't get more explicit than that!

"Oh ok.  So which would you say is worse out of the belt and the carpet beater?  I think I prefer the belt... etc etc."

Holy mother of god!  What.  The.  Fuck?  Do you not even care woman?  Are you THAT self-centred that you seriously don't give a fuck that I had a crappy night?

Needless to say, I promptly rolled over and 'went back to sleep'.  I was seething.  I'm surprised there wasn't steam coming out of my ears - there probably was.  I stayed that way until Omnihim brought us breakfast in bed, at which point I made a big fuss of not being able to sit and so took mine to the breakfast bar and stood to eat.  And then fed mine to the dog practically untouched because it wasn't very good (usually Omnihim is a great cook!  But this was just not his best work and I took advantage of that by being bitchy about it).  And then angrily doing tidying and cleaning that easily could have waited until Miss Lovely had left.  And just generally being a shit.

Omnihim vainly begged me to stop, and to come back to bed with the two of them so they could try to take my mind off the hurty bits.  But while they were still breakfasting and I was hustling and bustling I had heard them talking and laughing together about what a great night it had been.  Talk about insult to injury - that just stoked my angry fire!  And she looked supremely uncomfortable and I was seriously not in a sexy mood by this point so I turned him down over and over again and continued sponging his spilled drink from the night before out of the carpet and muttering about 'stains'.

Finally, feeling a little defeated and tired of being angry I lay down with him for a cuddle, trying unsuccessfully to maneuver around the ouchie bits.  Omnihim attempted to get Miss Lovely to come back to bed with us, but by this point she had already called a cab.  Which was probably a good thing because I think I was so worked up that I was in that place from which only Omnihim can talk me down.  We made polite conversation while she dressed and we waited for the cab.  She told him to be nice to me for the next week to make up for my hurtys (yes, because that was the problem) and to this point, Monday evening, she still does not seem to have acknowledged what my problem was and acts as though I was just sore and whingey after the intensity of the evening.  She has told Omnihim that she is worried about me, but doesn't seem to recognise that I told her what my problem was.  Twice.  And then she left.

As you will probably know if you follow our Twitter, Omnihim and I proceeded to spend the day in bed.  Talking and talking about what happened.  Him apologising again and again - for the record, he felt like absolute shit about the whole thing.  Not that its an excuse, but it was also his first time ever topping two women at the same time; I guess he just forgot how important it was for BOTH of us to be looked after in the aftermath, or was just so caught up in the moment he didn't realise that I was missing out so badly. (While we fuck Miss Lovely regularly, and while she has always told us about her submissive proclivities, things had never really seriously progressed beyond the semi-vanilla.  This was our much-hyped initial foray into the world of hurty things as a threesome.)

We also spent a good part of the day fucking.  Having awesome sex as we often do after fucking other people.  Relishing in each others' bodies and marveling at how well we fit together.  I got my multiple orgasms and lo and behold, the pain started to subside.  I think by that point it was at least partially psychological anyway, my anger was expressing itself through the welts all over my body.

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If something similar ever happened again, I think I would deal with it quite differently.  I didn't think to just ask for what I wanted because Omnihim is usually so fantastic at reading me that I don't need to.  I also at the time just kind of assumed that it was always going to be my turn next, just as soon as everyone regained their collective breath - well as they say, assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups!

I'm really sorry that I have potentially ruined the memory for Miss Lovely of what was otherwise a really really awesome night.  I have no bad feeling towards her at all, and am very much looking forward to our next tryst, I just hope that she can say the same!

Ultimately, it served as an all important reminder to Omnihim and myself that when dealing with group situations, one needs to be hyper-sensitive to the needs of both others.

At the end of the day, when you're in any kind of relationship whether monogamous or not, there are going to be issues with some aspect of your sex life at some point in time.  The thing that makes us as a couple strong enough to withstand the shitstorm is the communication and the willingness to forgive, learn from mistakes and put our newfound knowledge into practice.

And that's what we intend to do.


Omniher xx


Update:  While I was in hospital, Miss Lovely and I had a chance to discuss all of this.  By this stage I'd half forgotten all about it - and it certainly wasn't a big enough deal to bring up myself - but it had been playing on her mind for a while and she wanted to apologise.  As Dee suggests in the comments below, she was just caught up in her own experiences and it wasn't until she got home that evening that she was able to start to process what it was that I had said to her.  I guess it didn't help that in the brief moments in which they had discussed it Mr O hadn't challenged her assumption that I was upset because I was in pain.  (To be fair I also understand why he didn't - kind of an awkward thing to talk about in that moment and there's always the possibility that she still wouldn't have fully understood, being in the euphoric state that she was.)  I told her that it was fine, and that these things happen - her response was "Yes, but they shouldn't happen to YOU!" which just shows why I adore her.  She is so unbelievably sweet!  The long and the short of it is that all three of us learned a lesson: I learned to speak up, Mr O to be more vigilant in the aftercare of his bottoms, and Miss L to be especially careful when playing in a triad not to get too caught up in one's own experiences to the exclusion of all others. I can quite happily report that this incident has not hampered our sexual adventures together (although incidentally we have not gone into such an intense scene since then), and things are all going great!

Miss O xx